SUZAN writes…
Happily ever after” doesn’t imply to all stories.   Though the message to be passed across might be loud and clear, readers could digest it at the end of the day, still some sad stories can’t be sugercoated. You just have to speak the words and let those who have ears hear.


          Photo credit: Instagram user -digitalartwork

This is a beautiful guest post on “self-love” by Funke Olotu.

People view confidence from another perspective mostly.
My Name is Amanda, I killed my sister and am not sorry.
This is my story.
Since I was 6 I knew something was wrong with me, my mother made it obvious with the way she looked and talked to me,I felt like a burden to her,she barely smiled at me or take me out, she does not act like that to my sister, she is always smiling when my sister is around and she showed my sister all I wanted. I disliked my sister. We were not friends, when she sleeps on my mother’s bed in her arms, am being bullied by brothers and being laughed at because am skinny and black.
High school was hell, the boys laughed at me and slapped me when I talked back. I would tell my mother and she would yell at me to stop disturbing her.
And there was a day she bought new clothes for me,  they were all big, white,pink and all the bright colours you could ever imagine.
“From now on, these are the only clothes you’ll be wearing” she also gave me new soap and cream, bought me tons of make up products and told me to always wear them.
I was excited that maybe my mother has started showing her love for me.
I was trying on my new clothes and my sister entered laughing, I was surprised cause mother did not get anything for her, she always does because Becky is very jealous and also the apple of her eyes.
I asked why and she continue laughing till see fell on the floor and asked “Do you know why mother bought you these clothes?
I stated pondering on why she did.. Becky continued laughing and said it’s because of your body. Mother also said, people look at you when you go out with us and she feels ashamed, so she bought you make up so you can hide your ugly face, the big clothes to hide your skinny,shapeless figure, the soap and cream to bleach your skin and the bright colored clothes so you won’t look so black.
I was already crying and I yelled at her to stop laughing at me and she didn’t, I slapped her and she screamed, calling for mother’s attention, mother entered and slapped me, then she kicked me and removed a cord to beat me without listening to any explanation.
I was rolling on the floor screaming!  My three brothers entered and they tried to stop her but they did not stop her when they realized that I was the one she was beating.
David said, “I thought it was Becky” and he left.
Mother finally stopped after I started bleeding and said “if you touch her again I will kill you!”
I laid there on the floor wimping, not able to cry again. My sister entered, laughed at my pain and left.
The next morning, Becky’s scream attracted everyone and they saw me holding a knife, blood dripping from it standing close to Becky’s lifeless body on the bed, mother screamed and fell on the floor as my brothers went to call the police.
“This is your fault mother and I hope you live the rest of your life, guilty for what you made me do. ”

So tell me, Was it my fault?  And why should I be sorry?

MORAL –  Life can be tough, people can and  when those who are “supposed” to love you don’t, create a love within yourself for yourself.

More posts from Funke Olotu, visit funkeolotu.WordPress.com



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