ARE WE HUMANS JUST WIRED TO BE PHONIES?

SUZAN writes…

Today I’m observing.

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Photo by ‘Lakin Ogunbanwo.

 

You ever wonder how we could change to fit into somebody’s life?
I don’t want to sound like that absurd aunt who visits once in a while and try to twist your mind into accepting her ideals about how you should live your life. But really what is up with that?
I met “one cute smartie” and I became glued to his charms. He was my fantasy-come-true. I didn’t care if he didn’t fit the whole profile, if he didn’t check out all the points on my ridiculous list of how my man should be. As long as he checked the top five, I was hooked!
I was swooned and I liked it. I was intimidated by his carefully absorbing lifestyle and whatever he did was an act I wanted to imitate. I can be self-guarded and I swear I didn’t let a man change me. However, the little things can easily cloud my judgement and I’d quickly convince myself well, “you have to grow up anyway”
However, he was not perfect. He had faults. He saw life through a lens of ambiguity – everything had to be explained with big words and incomprehensible sentences. If you don’t share his optimisim and stiff detailness towards everything, dear you can’t wait with him.
I slipped into his bubble and it felt good at first, I convinced myself I needed a change, his change. But then, the vague boredom slowly crept in. I couldn’t see myself without his silhouette guiding me. I was engulfed, it was choking and I resented the familiarity.
You remember my first question? So why do we change to fit into a relationship? (THIS GOES BOTH WAYS)
Blame it on instincts? Or because we are social beings? Or infatuation is more effective than we think?
Or I’m alone in these thoughts?

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10 thoughts on “ARE WE HUMANS JUST WIRED TO BE PHONIES?

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  1. You’re not alone in these thoughts. I have experienced something similar before. However, the guy’s idea of a joke was making fun of me which didn’t really suit my type of person. At first I wanted to learn how to laugh at his jokes about my own self. Why? Because I thought I was in love. Yes, infatuation is strong. But perhaps people like that teach us lessons in little ways.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Suzan,

    You write beautifully, this post was thought provoking.

    Humans are malleable, even the most self-assured of us might be swayed by an unexplained need to blend into the ideals of a person(s) that they seek validation from.

    And it’s not necessarily a bad thing because sometimes we change into better versions of ourselves. Change only becomes faulty when it results in the loss of one’s essence, for then they become somewhat lost.

    Romance has a way of tweaking people. We live, we learn… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You are not alone in these thoughts dear, infatuation is real and something about it is making the other person feel secure so sometimes we change to fit and when it hits us, we remember what we truly want and then ..
    Amazing write up dear

    Liked by 1 person

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