Again I’m not explaining, just observing.
When you think of promiscuous, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? What’s the first word that is mostly used alongside this word – promiscuous?
And by word I meant “noun” … a promiscuous woman, right? Exactly that’s what I thought! But the thing is being promiscuous doesn’t always tie to women. Men can be promiscuous as much as woman can be. Blames or consequences about cheating and being involved in sexual activities can vary depending on each cultures but that is not what I am writing about. I am not here to explain, I am simply a curious girl who keeps words in her chest and then pours them out in her journal alongside a billion questions.
When a woman cheats or have a “one-night-stand”, she is stereotyped by the society as a “slut”, a “ho” or “ashewo” (one slang that particularly is common in my tribe), a man who cheats or have a “one-night-stand” gets to be “the player”, “the Don” or “Mr. Sharp guy” or whatever cool slang deems it fit.
I am going to focus on the culture I am most familiar about because it is where I am from and it’s where I know. When it comes to men, most of the time when they say a man cheats on his wife, its a norm in most cultures because you hear sentences like “He is a man, these things happen. As a woman, you just have to forgive him.”
If a woman cheats, it’s a deep personal failure and many women have lost their families because of this. Forgiveness isn’t a luxury for them because they are not born with balls between their legs.
Why is that?!
You can’t say let’s call a spade a spade only when it’s favours you.
To be promiscuous is to be involved in casual or multiple sexual activities with different partners which is a by fact a human thing. When a woman does something good, commend her for it and not say she did it because she is female, say she did it because she is a human being. The same applies to a male as well, tell him he did a good job because he can and he did, because he is a full human being.
On the flip side, if it’s a bad thing. Just understand anyone is capable of doing really terrible things – male or female. I think that’s what makes us humans, I don’t think anyone can ever be perfect.
I don’t think to cheat is a good thing but if you want to be one of those who judge, then please judge fair, judge right! You can’t pardon one and throw stones at the other – that’s bad!
You can’t give a man a pass because there are silly voices in your society that view males to be savage beings and so they can get away with atrocities such as rape, promiscuity or whatnot. There are good men who don’t conform to the stereotype of men being “masculine and untouchable”
The world is changing, we need to change as well, change for the better this time.
Not here to push the blame button, I am simply here to say “fair is fair”. Do not cut anyone some slack due to their gender when they do something bad.
With my little voice and huge urge to write, I am going to use my platform to condemn inequality.
Words//Susanah Omohunola Ajiboye.