Suzan writes…


To say we are fighting for gender equality between male and female is to also agree that we females need to put up a united front. Yet there is an automatic aggressiveness among females towards one another. We point out each other’s fault and imperfections.

“She is so fat, she is so skinny, she is so proud…I wonder what her boyfriend sees in her… her clothes are cheap… she is a gold digger…  I hate her hair.”

I have noticed this so well, the cat-eye gesture towards one another when we notice it is a lady just like you having that one good thing you have always wanted. She might be a “bitch” or a “queen bee” but I am right when I say not all females are bitchy towards their fellow females. Some ladies are genuinely nice but you wouldn’t know that because you envy her because she is the CEO of a company, or she is in a stable relationship or she is book-smart.


There are so many people I don’t talk to in my department, let alone the entire faculty but I do recognize them as level mates. I think this is applicable for many undergraduates.You just hang with people you are comfortable with during classes; male or female or both. However, I am more comfortable with males than females because I try to avoid cliques and drama queens. Y’all,  I don’t do well with girl fights and drama. I DON’T!

I was in class waiting last year for the lecturer to arrive, alongside hundreds of other Agricultural sciences students. There is this lady at my faculty who is friends with a friend of mine who happens to be male. When she sees me at classes around him, she doesn’t proceed to say hello to me. She greets my male friend and that’s it. As first I thought it was because she didn’t know me. Yet, this happens all the time. I cannot say both of us had crossed path before and we had a fight or something but she just doesn’t say hello unless I do. Then, she will slap a shallow smile across her face and pretend she didn’t see me to begin with. 

This is not imaginary neither is it new. There are many times females act hostile towards each other especially if they are just meeting each other for the first time. And then you complement their shiny bag or make up and then they want up to you… or not.

There is always the prejudice notion we are supposed to compete against each other for everything in life, even for the attention of males.

You see a lady who is chatty with a group of guys in school and you assume she likes guys too much. Why is this? 

Don’t even get me started on talking about seeing girls fight. It is usually so dramatic. Many friendship have been broken between females because of filmsy things.

It is like their friendship never really mattered in the first place for a little thing to shatter the bond they’ve created.

Females don’t do well with malice or gossip, not that males do a better job at these but it is just so ambiguous with females and reconciliation takes a long time to come around unless someone actually intervenes.

You see a femae doing really good at the job she does and you start to imagine what she did to get to that job. Maybe a sugar daddy, a boyfriend or rich parents. Very few automatically think she actually worked hard on her own.

Females discuss a wide range of topics when they are together and very little time is given to topics that actually matters like changing the world, taking over the planet and other things that don’t involve men.

Were we raised by default to tear each other down? To always resolve to jealousy and hostility when we see each other? 

You make a random conversation with a lady at school or at a fast food joint about her new hairstyle or the type of shoes she is wearing and then you realise you both share the same taste. It makes you wonder why you never even had a conversation all these while.


Lets build each other up not tear each other down.

We don’t have to be mean towards each other. Females are the future whether you believe it or not. 

However we can only reach the top if we believe we are equal to the task.

Drama and cateyeing get exhausting when they reach a point… for me anyway. I honestly don’t have time for drama. If we can’t support each other and share truths, plans,triumphs, fears, laughs and food then there is no point. 

Is it just me who noticed this? Or did we choose to ignore this?

Share your opinion. You know it matters to me of we get this message out there? 

Susanah. Xx.



Add yours

  1. This is like the best post I’ve read this year…

    You said the word out aptly! No sugar coating whatsoever…

    “Were we raised by default to tear each other down? To always resolve to jealousy and hostility when we see each other?” I really do not know why we keep doing this to ourselves but it ALWAYS happen!

    I hope we get the word out there and this brings about peace and love between the womenfolks someday.

    If we invest so much energy we put in bringing ourselves down into loving and helping someone grow; the world will be a better place…

    Liked by 1 person

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