Suzan writes…

While this subject has a lot of instances that deeply explains the topic, I am mainly going to write about the one thing I think is relatable among females – beauty and self-image.

After a stressful day at the school farm, I didn’t look like I felt.

“Bra” is probably one of those few words I could not say out loud during my teenage years (alongside feminine stuffs like period, sex and panties e.t.c.) in public, especially around males.

Bra is not a dirty word but I just couldn’t say it or talk about the changes that was happening to my body. I would cringe when my mother asked me if my period had started. I would refuse to buy my new underwear sets at a store that displayed panties at the entrance.

It just felt really sentimental to me. LOL. I guess you can call it silliness or shyness or better still puberty.

Fast forward to years later, I say bra or any of those terms I considered silly whenever I want to because I can. Sometimes I laugh at myself and I wonder why I thought it was embarrassing to embrace my femininity. All these while I carried my new growing body like it was a mistake, like it should not have been happening and so talking about it was a crime.

Gosh! Things we do while we were young.

So, girlfriend and I were having a conversation weeks ago and we talked about the frustration of wearing bras all the time. Then she told me a male friend of her told her he wondered why some ladies don’t like wearing bras all the time especially in the morning when they run short errands.

What was interesting about this was that it was coming from a male who had no idea how annoying it was to wear a bra for hours. When all you just want to do is flip the hooks, going the bra and Kay on your bed wearing a large T-shirt with no underwear.

Girlfriend and I laughed and talked about the untold agony bra causes on us each day and we wished we couldn’t wear bra anymore. He didn’t understand because he never had worn a bra in his life. But those who have will agree with me that it is sucks.

This propelled me to write this article because most males see the negative side of this topic; when a girl doesn’t wear bra (at times) she is probably trying to gain their attention or she is uncultured or whatever.


For goodness sake, not every decision a lady makes is about gaining a male’s attention. 

Sloppy breasts are seen as “un-sexy”which makes a lot of females feel they can only be pretty or hot if their breasts are pointy or huge or whatever.

Photo taken from a recent post on urbanbushbabes.com

Bra; and it annoying tags from people who feel you need to wear it all the time is just so frustrating. Even some old market women don’t bother wearing bras anymore, or they do but don’t wear a garment over it. Many feel it’s because they’re old and don’t seem attractive but I feel they aren’t wearing it because they no see the point of wearing it when they have the option of being free to do whatever they want.

Sometimes males think females do everything to gain their attention. I don’t know why it is like this or how far this been going on. But males need to know that a female refusing to wear a bra or wearing make up, or making her hair or wearing heels is not to entice male cat calls. It might mean she is so exhausted and for one freaking day, she doesn’t want to stuff her boobs in excruciating inconvenience we call “bra”.

It means she wears makeup because she wants to, because she already knows how beautiful she is with or without it. 

Not because she wants you to tell her she is beautiful. Its like saying what she already knows.

Dude, everything move I make is not always about you. Okay?

We females need to let them understand this. I feel they don’t and I feel those who do are few. Appreciate her because she is who she is, not because she is who you want her to be.

Susanah. Xx.


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