PERSONAL || THORNS OF COMFORT ZONE

I hate comfort zone.

I do.

But it’s so comfortable.

But it is a curse in a disguise of contentment. 

I don’t want to remain at one point for the rest of my life, no natter how comfortable it feels. I don’t want to settle.

This is one of my biggest fears by the way, living a settled life. I don’t want to look back at these stages of my life and regret that I didn’t fight for a life that I wanted.

I don’t know if it is just me but there are many times I wish I wasn’t just a “struggling student” who wishes to become a published author but is presently stuck in a university on strike studying a random course. I don’t want my story to end there. 

It sucks to be in one spot.

But I can’t keep being a bay about it, I have to do something.

So a suggestion came to me on the wings of a new friend, saying I should consider studying abroad. Starting a new course – the one I truly love – English / creative writing.

That’d be starting all over again in a foreign country.

Woah!

It is huge. And I don’t know why it scares me so much. I am still swallowed in it’s deep thoughts and my mind is torn.

It might take everything I have got right now; the whole process of applying to schools, applying for visa, applying for scholarships, preparing for exams….. 

But I thought about the end process, being taught to become a better creative writer, meeting new people who are in the same oath as I am, creating new opportunities for me, publicly submitting my work for critical assessment from professors and students, getting better at being a writer…

Isn’t that a dream?

Then another voice came to me and said why leave your home to be a writer instead of staying here and making a name for yourself? What if you leave and life there is not totally what you have imagined? 

And I became torn.

I feel like I am not moving forward right now because I’ve been stuck in the same place for a long time. There aren’t enough opportunities for me here, I know that but what if I leave and there isn’t anything to show for it? 

Or I don’t even get to be chosen for a scholarship and I lose on both sides?

If there was ever a time I needed to talk to my future self, it is now. I really do need a consultation because… 

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “PERSONAL || THORNS OF COMFORT ZONE

Add yours

  1. Dear baby girl, we all get torn in life crisis many times. I wish you had really thought of this before now and know better but it is never too late.

    Do not be in a rush to make a decision. Take a long pause and break, figure out what you want and go for it. Don’t even for one seconds doubt it. Go for it with all in you and I promise you, you will excel because you did not follow the crowd but your heart.

    Go for what you believe in dear.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: